Twilight star, Kristen Stewart, recalled the tough times she went through when talking to Marie Claire magazine for their August issue.

“I lit my universe on fire and I watched it burn… It was a really traumatic period in my early 20s that kick-started something in me that was a bit more…feral. The public kind of burned me at the stake. But that’s OK, I can take it. I’m not dead.”

From a young age, Stewart dealt with taunting. She described herself as tom-boy until one day, “it wasn’t cool to be one of the boys anymore.” A young male friend announced “Kristen’s not a girl. What is she?” in front of her whole group of friends. At that moment, Stewart felt a real insecure breakdown moment [as clichéd as it is], and “f–cking hated herself.”

People like to assume, since she is a celebrity, she didn’t have to deal with things like this before her rise to fame, which isn’t true at all. She states,

“So many people say, ‘Oh, it must have been so easy for you.’ You think because I’m an actor that I didn’t have a normal progression of self-hatred?”

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Starring with Jodi Foster in 2002’s Panic Room being Stewart’s breakthrough into the movie industry leading to Twilight didn’t make her life much easier. With dealing with her new fame, she says,

“Between ages 15 and 20, it was really intense. I was constantly anxious. I was kind of a control freak. If I didn’t know how something was going to turn out, I would make myself ill, or just be locked up or inhibited in a way that was really debilitating.”

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Stewart was able to come over her anxiety by letting go and giving yourself to your life.

“I have finally managed that and I get so much more out of life. I’ve lived hard for such a young person, and I’ve done that to myself— but I’ve come out the other end not hardened but strong. I have an ability to persevere that I didn’t have before, it’s like when you fall on your face so hard. And the next time, you’re like, ‘Yeah, so? I’ve fallen on my face before.’”

Images courtesy of Marie Claire

Featured image via flikr/erangi2